Month: August 2020

Review: Velvet Claw By L.J. Hamlin

A solid ‘okay’ kind of book.

3 out of 5 stars

E-book. 171 pages. Second edition. Published July 1st 2020 (first published September 27th 2016 by Torquere Press LLC)

Blurb:

Researching and finding cures for illnesses is what Dr. Evan Kidd does best. When he’s asked to help determine what’s making the children of Felis Forest sick, he can’t say no. Evan accepts, and even understands, why Rene has to follow him around town. It’s not every day a human is allowed in the “cat people only” town. But being attracted to someone who doesn’t trust him, much less like him, brings back painful reminders of his past.

Rene has plenty of his own baggage and having to shadow a human—who happens to be a doctor—isn’t helping. Evan challenges all Rene’s preconceived notions about humans and about himself. If they can survive all the obstacles while uncovering the truth, they might just discover they aren’t so different after all.

Likes:

  • The Felis concept.
  • Rene and Evan are a good fit.
  • Rene and Evan both have pasts they’ve overcome.
  • The smut.
  • The first chapter felt like a quick news article.

Dislikes:

  • Present tense narration.
  • Writing can be clunky.
  • Medium length.
  • Too much focus on minutiae.
  • The whole subplot about Evan’s ex.
  • Felt like Evan didn’t spend long working on helping the kittens.

I picked up this book because the blurb intrigued me. Realizing that this wasn’t a normal shifter book only made me more interested.

The Felis were an interesting concept. They’re basically shifters that never appear fully human. Even in their humanoid form, they have some fur, tails, and can purr. I know this book was originally published in 2016, but the description of the Felis made me think of the Cats movie. Which honestly made it difficult for me to conjure a sexy mental image of Rene.

I liked that the Felis couldn’t blend in with humans. It led to them creating their own towns, which was why Evan’s visit was such a big deal. I did end up having questions about the Felis in general, and I feel like the author didn’t fully think everything through. There were a number of inconsistencies throughout the story, both regarding the Felis culture and the characters. Little things that didn’t add up.

The Felis were more developed than the basic anime catgirl or nekomimi. Did I need to know that their existence began on Atlantis? No. In fact, there was a focus on minutiae that got annoying. I ended up feeling like the story could have been structured better.

But my biggest problem is the use of the present tense. I got used to it after a while, but I don’t enjoy present tense. It just feels awkward. If I put the book down, I’d have to adjust to the present tense all over again when I picked it back up.

Velvet Claw falls somewhere between a novella and a novel. It’s a bit long for the former and a bit short for the latter. The majority of the story focuses on Rene and Evan’s relationship, which I enjoyed. The men are a good fit. They both have obstacles in their past, and have to overcome them to be together. The smut was hot, and there was a lot of it.

I would have preferred fewer sex scenes and more time spent on the reason Evan was there. For a doctor called in to help save sick children, Evan didn’t do much medical stuff. He interviewed the children’s families and took swabs of things to be sent off to a lab. Seems like it didn’t have to be him doing that.

The whole subplot about Evan’s ex-boyfriend felt tacked on. Yes, it helped Evan and Rene get their happy ending, but it was glaringly contrived. Maybe if it had been sprinkled into the story from the beginning, I would have been more okay with it.

I’m very comfortable giving this book 3 stars. It’s not bad and not great. A solid ‘okay’ kind of book.

Review: Future Ex Enemy (Future Series #3) by Kate Hawthorne and E.M. Denning

I hated Luis from the start.

2 out of 5 stars

DNF 12%

E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 210 pages. Published August 8th 2019

Blurb:

If there’s one thing David Cranston hates, it’s Luis Montgomery.

When he finds out they’ve both been invited to participate in a floral contest that could make or break both of their careers, David dives in, ready to win.
But there’s only one problem, and there’s only one bed.

David and Luis are forced together and tension isn’t the only thing running hot between the two of them. David realizes he wants to come out on top…in more ways than one.

A drunken night and a hungover morning leave both men regretting actions that found them a little bit too close. Unfortunately, they keep getting closer, and closer, until the lines between hate and desire blur into something far more complicated than either of them bargained for.

Back home, Luis and David struggle to make sense of their feelings, and Luis has to face some hard truths. He thought he hated David and his roses and his baby’s breath and his lemon verbena lotion, but he was so wrong.

Because if there’s one thing Luis Montgomery loves, it’s David Cranston. 

Likes:

  • Tangential to the Kingston brothers without feeling forced.

Dislikes:

  • Literally everything about Luis.
  • David was presented as someone bland and boring.
  • More formatting issues.

DNF 12%

Because I DNF-ed the previous book, Future Gay Boyfriend, I knew that the best way to give this book a fair shot was to read something else as a palate cleanser of sorts. After a few days and a nonfiction book, I felt good as I cracked open Future Ex Enemy. And experienced an instant and almost visceral hatred of Luis.

To be fair to the authors, my hatred of Luis is entirely my own. He embodies so many of my pet peeves that it’s unreal. I’m a millennial, so I don’t hate on millennials, but Luis is like a condensed version of all the things people hate millennials for. And it’s not just because he showed up late to his interview because he tried and failed to satisfactorily tie his bowtie. (But I mean, come on. If you can’t tie a bowtie, don’t wear one. It’s that simple.)

No, what made me hate Luis was that he was just a random employee at Kingston Party Rentals and one day he decided to rearrange a bride’s wedding centerpieces without her permission because he thought they were dated. WTF?? I don’t care that it turned out well in the end. You don’t touch other people’s stuff without permission. And at that point, Luis was not interested in flower arrangement. He was just a random guy who thought he knew better than anyone else.

This backstory is probably meant to make Luis seem like he has a natural talent for design. To me, he seemed like an entitled asshole. But I was still willing to give him a shot. And then he walks into his interview with David like he’s hot shit, when he still had literally no experience in flower arrangement. He didn’t even want to work at Designs by David, but “A job in a place like this wasn’t his ideal first gig, but he needed to start somewhere, and this place was hiring.”

This is why people want to punch millennials in the face. Luis has no training, formal or otherwise, only picked up the idea to work with flowers recently, and has an ego the size of Texas. Sure, he knows a little about flower symbolism. The story doesn’t say how he picked that info up. If it had hinted at him actually doing some research, maybe reading a book, I wouldn’t be so mad. But as he’s presented, I hated Luis.

Then there’s David, “overall, a pretty standard looking guy.” Not exactly an exciting start. But at least I didn’t hate him. If anything, I liked David. Middle aged, worried about his business, and he also hated Luis.

I might have continued to read a bit more of the book just for David, if the spark between the two men hadn’t felt so fake. There was absolutely no spark or even sign of interest between the men during their first meeting. Which made the line “If David Cranston was younger, or even less disagreeable, Luis would have had half a mind to pin the man against the wall and fuck the contrariness right out of him” seem even more out of place. I literally said, “What?!” when I read that line. It comes out of nowhere. A blatant, heavy-handed attempt by the authors to generate a spark when it’s not coming naturally.

I don’t even remember the last time I gave up on a book so quickly. I actually felt a little bad that I didn’t get farther. But I could just tell that I wasn’t going to enjoy the story.

Review: Future Gay Boyfriend (Future Series #2) by Kate Hawthorne and E.M. Denning

DNF 61%. The romance never hooked me.

DNF 61%

2.5 out of 5 stars

E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 236 pages. Published April 11th 2019

Blurb:

Ryan Kingston is having a terrible year. His twin brother and his best friend just got engaged, leaving him feeling adrift and out of place. Prepared to ring in the New Year drunk and without a date at the annual Mallory Vineyard party, Ryan is blindsided by desire when he shares an unexpected kiss with the last person he expected…another man.

With his darkest years hopefully behind him, Darian Fulton is finally ready to step out of the shadows and embrace his true self. Armed with pink lip gloss and a snazzy silk tie, he is determined to keep his New Year’s resolution and find his own slice of happiness; one that shows up in the form of Ryan Kingston, an alluring and apparently not-so-straight-after-all man.

Darian sets his sights on making Ryan his future gay boyfriend after a simple kiss, which quickly turns into two, then three, then more. Ryan and Darian find themselves more involved with each other than they’d ever planned. But Darian worries that Ryan is going to change his mind about being with a man—and after a surprising job offer, Ryan is worried about losing Darian for the temptations of a big city career.

Between impromptu shopping trips, midnight ice cream runs, and a long list of firsts, Ryan and Darian are faced with the choice of conquering their fears together or missing out on all of their dreams. 

Likes:

  • Darian is a cancer survivor.
  • Ryan was interested in being verse.
  • The way their families didn’t make a big deal out of their relationship.

Dislikes:

  • Never hooked me.
  • Slow character development.
  • Too much sex.
  • Sex happened too fast in the story.
  • There wasn’t enough time given to introduce the reader to the characters.
  • Formatting issues.
  • Nothing about their lives was shown.
  • Darian and Ryan felt incomplete.

DNF 61%

I had problems with this book right from the start. I don’t immediately like main characters when I start reading something new. I have to get to know and like them. Even Ryan, who appeared in the previous book, needed to be introduced as a main character and not just Rhett’s twin brother.

Unfortunately, the book starts off with insta-lust. I didn’t get the chance to connect with Ryan and Darian before they started having sex. Which meant that I didn’t care about the sex. As much as I love smut in my romance books, it doesn’t pack a punch if I’m not invested in the relationship.

But I kept reading, because the book can’t all be about sex, right?

It wasn’t until chapter five – more than 20% into the book, that serious character development and relationship building started to happen. And even that was lackluster. Ryan and Darian are both directionless. Ryan’s life isn’t terrible but isn’t great. Darian has finally beaten cancer and now has to decide what he wants to do with his life. Kurt Vonnegut famously advised writers that “Characters must want something, even if it’s just a glass of water.” Neither Ryan nor Darian had something they wanted. It made them feel incomplete.

The lack of goals meant that both men had boring lives, and so not much of their lives was shown. It also meant the story lacked a subplot. Sure, eventually Darian’s desire to go to college comes up, but it happens after the 50% mark.

The entire first half of the book was focused solely on the relationship. Which would have been fine if there was some tension there. But there wasn’t. Ryan, who had always been straight, adjusts to his newfound sexuality in the blink of an eye, which isn’t a huge surprise. His twin and best friend are both gay, so Ryan is obviously fine with gay men. But I’m not a big fan of ‘gay for you’ stories, and this definitely is one. Ryan had literally never been attracted to another man before.

Since neither man has a problem with the budding romance, they had a lot of sex. Too much sex. So much that it became ridiculous. Everything Darian did got Ryan hard. I got so tired of reading about Ryan needing to adjust his boner. Sex is not substance. It didn’t matter that they were both trying to work out the intricacies of anal sex. A romance isn’t built on sex alone, and there wasn’t enough time spent developing the relationship to get me invested.

The only reason I got as far as I did in the book was because I skimmed. A lot. I never got invested, and gave up because it wasn’t worth my time to finish reading.

I am especially disappointed that Darian wasn’t more fleshed out. He was the more interesting of the two men. As a cancer survivor, he had a unique view on life. It was mentioned a number of times that he was finally wearing the kinds of feminine clothes he’d always wanted to wear, but that wasn’t delved into. And for a guy who just got over cancer, his family was noticeably absent. And I hated that Kristen, who’d been portrayed as a bitch in the first book, was Darian’s BFF. I know people act differently depending on who they are around, but she was still a bitch to Ryan, and her character just felt inconsistent.

I did appreciate that Ryan was verse. He didn’t immediately assume he would top, which is noteworthy, especially since Darian was so feminine.

I also have to point out that this e-book had a lot of formatting issues, especially at the beginning. Paragraphs were indented differently, or not indented at all, in a very noticeable way. I also didn’t like that the book started with a prologue when the story continued without any sort of time break into chapter one.

After reading some reviews from people who actually finished this book, I’m glad I gave up when I did. Apparently things happen in the last few chapters that made people super mad.

I will finish the series, but I’m definitely less excited about the final book now. Hopefully it will be like the first book and not this one.

Review: Future Fake Husband (Future Series #1) by Kate Hawthorne and E.M. Denning

A cute, sweet, smutty story that could have used a little more drama.

3.75 out of 5 stars

Ebook. Kindle Unlimited. 232 pages. Published November 5th 2018

Blurb:

Cole Mallory is on the brink of losing everything.
For the past seven years, Cole has dedicated himself to managing Mallory Vineyard, the winery his family owns. It’s not that he hasn’t had time for a relationship so much as he’s never found anyone he wanted to devote time to beyond the initial getting to know you stage. But that all needs to change—and fast—because if Cole wants to inherit the vineyard, he needs to be married.

Rhett Kingston is about to have a new life dropped into his lap.
What started out as a night of lonely drinking in a local bar ends with Rhett agreeing to “fake marry” his twin brother’s best friend. Rhett will act as the perfect future fake husband for Cole and, in turn, Cole will help Rhett launch the event planning business he’s always dreamed of owning.

Before they know it, their totally fake relationship is tangled up with completely mutual desire. After a destination wedding forces Cole and Rhett into the same bed, sparks fly and fictional feelings escalate and threaten to turn into something very, very real and more than either of them bargained for. 

Likes:

  • Sweet, easy, low angst read.
  • The setup was a cliché but modern and believable.
  • Cole and Rhett knew each other but hadn’t really noticed each other.
  • Hot smut, and lots of it.

Dislikes:

  • Almost too sweet and low angst.
  • The spark between them happened fast.
  • Cole’s family.
  • Wished for more about Rhett’s life.
  • Colt’s sister’s abrupt personality change.

I’m surprised how much I didn’t mind this marriage of convenience story. Yeah, it’s a cliché all by itself, but it felt weirdly modern. Cole’s mom might have been fine with him, an unmarried gay man, taking over the winery, but his grandparents were another matter. It was the fact that the grandparents had the final say that sold it for me. I can totally see older folks picking a hetero couple over a gay man, even one they’re related to.

I also liked that Cole chose Rhett as his future fake boyfriend. It was believable to everyone around them. Plus, they already knew each other. The fact that they’d never looked at each other as potential love interests made sense. Despite their connection through Rhett’s brother, they moved in different social circles.

But once they started being around each other, the spark happened fast. Definitely insta-lust, which I didn’t mind. And the smut! Very hot, and plentiful. Almost too much, at one point. I definitely skimmed a few times. As much as I love smut in my romance, if it’s not moving the plot along, it almost becomes filler, especially if there’s already been a lot.

I just wish there had been a little more tension, both with the romance and with the story in general. There was only one hiccup near the end, and it was sorted out without any effort by Rhett or Cole. The story was sweet, low angst, and east to read. A little more tension here or there would have spiced it up.

Both Cole and Rhett were nice guys. Cole’s family, however, were classist assholes. Which made Cole’s sister’s decision to be nice at the end surprising. It felt completely out of character for her, and while it helped give the story a happy ending, I don’t buy it. I wish Cole had gotten mad at his family. I half expected him to just snap and burn the whole winery to the ground.

I am glad the story didn’t bore me to death with the intricacies of how wine was made – looking at you, An Intoxicating Crush. I do wish that more of Rhett’s life had been explored. Cole’s family and livelihood got the page time. I didn’t even realize that Ryan and Rhett weren’t identical twins at first.

I am looking forward to the next book in the series. The writing was solid and I finished the book quickly. Both authors have other series, so I’ll have to give them a try one day.

Review: The Emerald Prince by Kayci Morgan

DNF 68%. Not worth it.

1.5 out of 5 stars

DNF 68%

E-book. 192 pages. Published April 19th 2014 by Forbidden Lust

Blurb:

In a kingdom faced with civil war, an idealistic prince must abandon the foreign princess he desires for an arranged marriage to an influential knight. Together, the prince and knight travel north to deal with an army marching on the kingdom’s borders, only to discover the biggest threat to the crown is the princess they left behind.

Prince Elliot had everything—wealth, power, the love of a beautiful woman. It wasn’t enough. More than anything he wanted to prove himself worthy of his crown. When negotiations for his sister’s arranged marriage to Sir Blaine fell apart, he was asked to take her place and marry the knight.

Sir Blaine was adored throughout the kingdom for his strategic mind and feats of bravery. He was rewarded with the greatest gift a king could offer a knight—the princess’s hand in marriage.

But Blaine found the brazen Prince Elliot far more enticing. 

Likes:

  • Female villain.
  • Victoria is the smartest of the bunch.

Dislikes:

  • The blurb is misleading.
  • Overused tropes everywhere.
  • Zariya’s evilness is heavy-handed and unrealistic.
  • The lack of magical protection is ridiculous.
  • Plot holes are “covered” with bullshit excuses.
  • Can’t tell if Elliot even likes men or he’s just being manipulated.
  • Never got invested in the romance.
  • Elliot was an idiot.
  • Rape scene.
  • Heterosexual romance subplot, complete with sex scene.
  • No idea why Blaine loves Elliot, or if it’s just him being manipulated by magic.
  • Lots of little writing mistakes.

DNF 68%

This book was to fantasy romance what light beer is to alcohol.

I was a few chapters in when I realized that the writing reminded me of being back in college creative writing classes. So many people thought they were being different, when really their stories were full of overused tropes. That’s what this book is. The only reason I read so far into it was because I wanted to see Zariya get her due. But eventually, I got so disgusted I had to stop.

The actual writing itself isn’t too bad, if you ignore little mistakes like ‘fficers’ instead of ‘officers’. And I did actually like Blaine. He was completely gay but was being forced to marry a woman, knowing it would make them both miserable. He didn’t fight back against his father’s lust for power, only getting mad when it came to how stubborn Elliot was. When Blaine’s mother pointed out that only Elliot could get under Blaine’s skin, I thought that was a great bit of character building.

Unfortunately, Elliot didn’t interest me at all. My first note about the book is literally that Elliot seems like an idiot. Of course, he’s being controlled by Zariya’s magic, but still. He’s an idiot. He “wanted to be more than a toy prince in a paper crown.” Yet he’d never been in battle and even had to be told why the Ghas were trying to attack the fort.

It honestly felt as though the author wanted to write two different stories – one about Blaine and Elliot and one about Victoria. Victoria is Elliot’s sister, and she gets her own chapters and her own story. She even gets sex scenes, which was a huge surprise to me. Victoria isn’t even mentioned in the blurb, and here is a heterosexual romance in the middle of a gay romance. It’s 1.) weird. 2.) not why I picked up the book. And 3.) filled with exactly the sort of traditional misogyny that made me turn away from heterosexual romance in the first place. As much as I liked Victoria as a character, her story wasn’t the one I wanted to read.

I wanted to read a romance. I honestly don’t feel like I even got that. Elliot gave no indication that he was attracted to men at all. It made me wonder if his attraction to Blaine was purely because of Zariya’s magic. The fact that I couldn’t tell even after reading more than half the book is telling. Because if he was being controlled, then there’s no romance, just manipulation.

I’m not even sure why Blaine even liked the prince. They barely knew each other, and yet Blaine is head over heels. He also got whammied by Zariya’s magic, and again I have to wonder about what his real feelings were.

I did like that there was a female villain. I didn’t like that she was basically just a seductress with vague powers of suggestion. The fact that her powers only worked on those who didn’t see her as a threat was cool. But it did raise a lot of questions. Like, why no one was protecting the king and prince from magical attacks?

That ties in with the feeling of being back in a creative writing class. The lack of magical protection is a huge plot hole. And trying to cover it up with a throwaway line about how all the people with magic serve in the temples and they should be protecting the castle from there doesn’t cut it. If anything, it’s like slapping a Band-Aid over a crack in the sidewalk. We can all still see that there’s a problem.

A combination of things finally made me give up on this book. First, the rape scene. It didn’t involve either of the character, not that that made it better. Once Elliot and Blaine got to the fort where the battle was happening, the book got preachy about how bad war is. Death, destruction, and rape. Elliot, who if you remember, has never been to a battle and had to be told why the Ghas were attacking, immediately came up with a brilliant idea to fix everything. And that moment was what made me drop the book. The toy prince who knows nothing and has no experience is going to save the day? Yeah right.

To say I’m disappointed in this book is a massive understatement. I’ve given up on plenty of books in the past, but this one just annoys me for some reason.