2 out of 5 stars
DNF 12%
E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 210 pages. Published August 8th 2019
Blurb:
If there’s one thing David Cranston hates, it’s Luis Montgomery.
When he finds out they’ve both been invited to participate in a floral contest that could make or break both of their careers, David dives in, ready to win.
But there’s only one problem, and there’s only one bed.
David and Luis are forced together and tension isn’t the only thing running hot between the two of them. David realizes he wants to come out on top…in more ways than one.
A drunken night and a hungover morning leave both men regretting actions that found them a little bit too close. Unfortunately, they keep getting closer, and closer, until the lines between hate and desire blur into something far more complicated than either of them bargained for.
Back home, Luis and David struggle to make sense of their feelings, and Luis has to face some hard truths. He thought he hated David and his roses and his baby’s breath and his lemon verbena lotion, but he was so wrong.
Because if there’s one thing Luis Montgomery loves, it’s David Cranston.
Likes:
- Tangential to the Kingston brothers without feeling forced.
Dislikes:
- Literally everything about Luis.
- David was presented as someone bland and boring.
- More formatting issues.
DNF 12%
Because I DNF-ed the previous book, Future Gay Boyfriend, I knew that the best way to give this book a fair shot was to read something else as a palate cleanser of sorts. After a few days and a nonfiction book, I felt good as I cracked open Future Ex Enemy. And experienced an instant and almost visceral hatred of Luis.
To be fair to the authors, my hatred of Luis is entirely my own. He embodies so many of my pet peeves that it’s unreal. I’m a millennial, so I don’t hate on millennials, but Luis is like a condensed version of all the things people hate millennials for. And it’s not just because he showed up late to his interview because he tried and failed to satisfactorily tie his bowtie. (But I mean, come on. If you can’t tie a bowtie, don’t wear one. It’s that simple.)
No, what made me hate Luis was that he was just a random employee at Kingston Party Rentals and one day he decided to rearrange a bride’s wedding centerpieces without her permission because he thought they were dated. WTF?? I don’t care that it turned out well in the end. You don’t touch other people’s stuff without permission. And at that point, Luis was not interested in flower arrangement. He was just a random guy who thought he knew better than anyone else.
This backstory is probably meant to make Luis seem like he has a natural talent for design. To me, he seemed like an entitled asshole. But I was still willing to give him a shot. And then he walks into his interview with David like he’s hot shit, when he still had literally no experience in flower arrangement. He didn’t even want to work at Designs by David, but “A job in a place like this wasn’t his ideal first gig, but he needed to start somewhere, and this place was hiring.”
This is why people want to punch millennials in the face. Luis has no training, formal or otherwise, only picked up the idea to work with flowers recently, and has an ego the size of Texas. Sure, he knows a little about flower symbolism. The story doesn’t say how he picked that info up. If it had hinted at him actually doing some research, maybe reading a book, I wouldn’t be so mad. But as he’s presented, I hated Luis.
Then there’s David, “overall, a pretty standard looking guy.” Not exactly an exciting start. But at least I didn’t hate him. If anything, I liked David. Middle aged, worried about his business, and he also hated Luis.
I might have continued to read a bit more of the book just for David, if the spark between the two men hadn’t felt so fake. There was absolutely no spark or even sign of interest between the men during their first meeting. Which made the line “If David Cranston was younger, or even less disagreeable, Luis would have had half a mind to pin the man against the wall and fuck the contrariness right out of him” seem even more out of place. I literally said, “What?!” when I read that line. It comes out of nowhere. A blatant, heavy-handed attempt by the authors to generate a spark when it’s not coming naturally.
I don’t even remember the last time I gave up on a book so quickly. I actually felt a little bad that I didn’t get farther. But I could just tell that I wasn’t going to enjoy the story.
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