Month: September 2020

Review: Pumpkin Rolls and Porn Sounds by Kris T. Bethke

I felt disengaged and ended up giving up halfway.

2 out of 5 stars

DNF 50%

Kindle Edition. 53 pages. Published September 21st 2019 by JMS Books LLC (first published February 11th 2015)

Blurb:

Will Grant only attends the PFLAG meeting because his mother guilts him into it. But the instant he hears the night’s speaker, Will is glad he showed up. Joshua Rhinehardt is dynamic and engaging. Although Joshua isn’t physically Will’s type, Will can’t get the man out of his head.

Joshua may be comfortable in his own skin, but it isn’t often men like Will are attracted to him, and he’s not comfortable changing for someone else. He wants to make a life with Will, but his own insecurities keep getting in the way.

Will’s unwavering acceptance helps Joshua see that when two people connect, physical appearance just might not matter at all. 

Likes:

  • Will was willing to go at Joshua’s pace.

Dislikes:

  • Didn’t click with Will.
  • No tension.
  • Will feels like a chick with a dick.
  • Didn’t care.

DNF 50%

I once had to listen to a newly engaged couple gush about how they’d met and fallen in love. Reading this story was similar, in that I didn’t care and ended up bored. Now, to be fair to this story, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it in technical terms. But I felt massively disengaged from Will right from the start, which was really strange given that the story was told from his point of view.

Will and Joshua seemed like okay characters. They simply didn’t have anything interesting about them or their lives. Will isn’t exactly the kind of character I generally gravitate to – he’s hot and he knows it, is a self-professed attention whore, and his reaction to the first date gave me strong ‘chick with a dick’ vibes.

“I stood there for a moment, letting the giddy “first date” feelings wash over me. It had been so good, and I had to trust there would be more. I was still hard, but I didn’t do anything about it. I just puttered around the house, slowly getting ready for bed while my brain replayed that kiss over and over.

Eventually, I stripped off my clothes and crawled into bed. It wasn’t that late – not even eleven yet – but I wanted to lie in the quiet and remember every moment of our date. I didn’t care if that put me in the same category as a teenaged girl. I relieved it as though it were happening all over again. I fell asleep several hours later, a smile on my lips and anticipation in my heart.”

I think the strangest part of the passage above is that it doesn’t mesh with my overall impression of Will. He’s bold and flirtatious, going for what he wants because he knows he can get it. His willingness to go at Joshua’s pace was nice, but he admitted several times that he wasn’t good at waiting and got impatient easily.

I’m not used to romance stories that don’t have anything else going on besides the romance. Even in short stories like this one, there’s background stuff happening. I think that contributed to my feeling of boredom, as did the fact that the story is stretched out over the course of weeks. There was a lot of jumping around, from Joshua and Will’s initial meeting, to their second meeting, to the first date, a random phone call, etc.

I honestly feel bad for not finishing such a short story, but I had to force myself to even make it halfway. I kept putting the story down and finding any excuse not to pick it back up. It simply wasn’t worth the time to finish.

Review: A Villain for Christmas (Snow Globe Christmas #4) by Alice Winters

I definitely need more mm superhero romance books.

5 out of 5 stars

E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 281 pages. Published November 25th 2019

Blurb:

Despite growing up in a family of villains, I’d rather curl up and read than commit crimes. When I get coerced by my brother into helping him rob a bank, I run into August, my childhood crush—also known as Chrono, the city’s greatest superhero. He’s sexy, sweet, and suddenly he’s asking me to Thanksgiving with his parents. It’s probably because he doesn’t realize that I’m Leviathan, a villain with the power of telekinesis. And I can’t tell him because he’d never forgive me and would stop doing things like cooking for me—wait, maybe that would be a good thing, since he’s a terrible cook. It doesn’t help that my parents think they’re the ultimate villains and won’t stop getting in my way, although they can’t even steal toilet paper without getting caught.

But when real supervillains (not the wannabe kind that I grew up with) start targeting August, I might be forced to show everyone who I truly am: a slightly warped and snarky man who’d really rather read a book than save anything… besides August. I’ll tear this world apart just to get another glimpse of him in those glasses and spandex suit. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him safe, even though it means exposing my true identity. Luckily, August still cares about me, proving that even a villain and a hero can fall in love. Hopefully, we’ll be able to save the world in time for Christmas.

This ridiculous and snarky holiday novel is 92,000 words and contains a villain turned unlikely hero (even if he’s a manager’s worst nightmare), a superhero with a fondness for suckers who absolutely does NOT use his powers to cheat on board games, a hairless cat with an unfortunate name, bumbling family members that try to be evil but are mostly just embarrassing, a snow globe with mysterious powers, betrayal, true love, a risqué Santa suit, and the saltiest chicken ever.

Although this book is part of A Snow Globe Christmas series, it is a complete standalone, and it isn’t a requirement that you read the previous books to follow along. We wish everyone a happy holiday season. 

Likes:

  • Interesting premise.
  • Landon and August, together and separately.
  • The entire cast of side characters, especially Balzac and Valerie.
  • The humor.
  • Hooked me fast.
  • I read it in one sitting.
  • Landon and August didn’t sleep together right away.
  • Great romance/nonromantic plot balance.

Dislikes:

  • I want an entire series.
  • Landon’s sprained ankle seemed not to be mentioned again.

This book popped up as a Goodreads suggestion one day, and the blurb called to me. A tree had fallen on my car and I needed something light and funny to distract me for a few hours. This book worked like a charm. I started reading and, aside from a few snack breaks, didn’t stop until I was done. I honestly can’t remember the last time I read a book in one sitting. It was that good.

The hero/villain dynamic in this book felt less like a Marvel movie and more like the My Hero Academia anime. And I’m not complaining. I was glad that the book was as lighthearted and funny as the blurb had led me to believe.

The overall plot of the book worked well. The villains had an interesting plan to take over the city. I liked that the book emphasized the shades of gray from both the villains and the heroes. There was also a great balance of the romantic and nonromantic plots, with enough time dedicated to both to make the whole story feel well fleshed out.

Landon’s family of ‘supervillains’ are hilariously bad at being bad. But they’re not one-dimensional. The amount of insecurity they made Landon feel really added depth to the story. I am so glad Landon’s dad got him a hairless cat, and I love that Landon named her Balzac and dressed her up in little outfits.

August was so sweet, and the perfect hero. Yet he had struggles of his own. I think one of the best things about this story was how both Landon and August were both content with their lives, but they weren’t really happy. Not until they found each other. Their romance was sweet without being saccharine, and I loved that they didn’t sleep together right away.

I laughed so much during this book. It’s a bit on the ridiculous side, but also has its intense moments. Sometimes side by side. When Brandon saved Landon by hitting a villain in the head with a bag of cheese, I couldn’t stop laughing. Especially because it fits the story so well.

Brandon isn’t the only great side character in the book. It’s cram packed with amazing characters. Valerie and Balzac are my favorites, but Austin’s family gets a shout out.

I only have two complaints about this book, and the first is minor. Landon sprains his ankle in the beginning and it wasn’t really mentioned again. The second is more important. I WANT MORE! A series, preferably. I’m going to have to sign up for Alice Winters’ mailing list and get the extra story about Nolan and Lex. I would also read the shit out of a book about Valerie, because I’m here for all the LGBTQ+ romance.

Review: Truth Will Out (Merrychurch Mysteries #1) by K.C. Wells

A pleasant start to a cozy mystery series.

3.75 out of 5 stars

E-book. 1st edition. 204 pages. Published October 30th 2018 by Dreamspinner Press

Blurb:

Jonathon de Mountford’s visit to Merrychurch village to stay with his uncle Dominic gets off to a bad start when Dominic fails to appear at the railway station. But when Jonathon finds him dead in his study, apparently as the result of a fall, everything changes. For one thing, Jonathon is the next in line to inherit the manor house. For another, he’s not so sure it was an accident, and with the help of Mike Tattersall, the owner of the village pub, Jonathon sets out to prove his theory—if he can concentrate long enough without getting distracted by the handsome Mike.

They discover an increasingly long list of people who had reason to want Dominic dead. And when events take an unexpected turn, the amateur sleuths are left bewildered. It doesn’t help that the police inspector brought in to solve the case is the last person Mike wants to see, especially when they are told to keep their noses out of police business.

In Jonathon’s case, that’s like a red rag to a bull….

Likes:

  • Solid mystery.
  • Good start to the series.
  • Cute romance.
  • Satisfying ending.
  • Cozy mystery with a gay couple.
  • Mike was an amputee.

Dislikes:

  • Didn’t really hook me.
  • Mike didn’t give off police officer vibe.
  • Wasn’t sure of the time period or country at first.

I think this was a solid cozy mystery. It hit all the usual benchmarks I expect from cozy mysteries, including a sweet romance with fade-to-black bedroom scenes. The mystery was well executed and there was a satisfying ending.

Unfortunately, I was never really hooked. Not in a way that made me feel like I just had to keep reading. I think, for all that this book hit all the right notes, it was a little basic. Mike and Jonathon were nice guys, and I’ll definitely read the rest of the series, but there isn’t anything super unique or interesting about them.

I did like that Mike was an amputee. It wasn’t brought up often, and didn’t really affect his life much. But it added a little bit of diversity into what was basically a placid middle-class English village of white people. I don’t mean that as a critique, but I am definitely aware that American cozies tend to have more diversity among the side characters.

Mike was introduced early and it was always obvious that he was going to be the romantic interest. He didn’t give off policeman vibes, despite having been a Detective Inspector before taking over the pub. He and Jonathon got along well, and their relationship developed in a very natural way. I don’t mind the lack of smut, because that’s in keeping with cozy mysteries.

I was a little confused about when and where this book was taking place at first. The village of Merrychurch does hint at England, but that was all the blurb mentioned. I was happy to see that my questions were answered within the first few paragraphs. It’s a modern setting and is indeed set in England.

I am always happy to see cozy mysteries with gay main characters, especially since there are relatively few of them. I’m excited for the next two books. Even though I wasn’t super invested in this book, it was a pleasant read.

Review: Fire and Ink (Kitten and Witch #2) by K.L. Noone

The best of the three.

4.5 out of 5 stars

Kindle Edition. 49 pages. Published November 28th 2018 by Less Than Three Press, LLC

Blurb:

Three months ago David Stanton rescued a runaway kitten in the rain. Now he’s got a scandalous feline shapeshifter living in his house, helping with his white-witch business, and making him smile. David is falling in love fast, but there’s still the problem of Colin’s past—and the secrets he’s obviously keeping…

Likes:

  • Story is from David’s point of view.
  • We get to see the first time the men say ‘I love you’.
  • Heroics.
  • Sweet and cute.
  • Glad to see a continuation of David and Colin’s story.
  • Good flow.

Dislikes:

  • Still too short.
  • Lack of communication.
  • The tension made me wonder about the bigger picture.

I definitely liked this story best out of all three. Part of that is because it’s focused on an established couple, so there’s less time spent setting things up and more time spent on the relationship. I’m also just happy that David and Colin got a continuation. They deserved it.

Unlike the previous story, this one is from David’s point of view. I liked that. It was different from the last book, and it added to the minor tension. Considering that the people Colin has stayed with in the past have been rich and powerful, it was inevitable that David would worry if he was enough.

Unfortunately, David didn’t want to talk about his feelings directly with Colin because he was afraid. Which, while understandable, was a little cliché. And it took the shadow of a disaster for things to be cleared up. Also cliché, but more acceptable when used in such a short story.

I enjoyed David’s heroics, and the minor tension this story had. It made the sweet parts even sweeter by comparison. Especially seeing the two men finally admit that they love each other. It was a great way to close the chapter on David and Colin.

With this story, I have finally gotten used to the short format. For being only 49 pages, it packed a punch. I don’t think I’ll ever love such short stories, and I do still feel like this story and Port in a Storm could have been combined and expanded into a novella or novel, but I’m happy with how things turned out.

Review: Port in a Storm (Kitten and Witch #1) by K.L. Noone

A short, sweet story about a kitten shifter and a kind witch.

4 out of 5 stars

Kindle Edition. 43 pages. Published December 18th 2017 by Less Than Three Press, LLC

Blurb:

Colin is not having the best time lately, being a runaway shifter with a less than stellar reputation, hiding beneath a car in the pouring rain hoping to evade the angry warlock looking for him.

David’s had a long day; being the local white witch and healer is a worthwhile occupation, but it’s rarely an easy one. When he spies a stray kitten under his car, he figures he’ll be able to rescue at least one living thing that night… 

Likes:

  • Both David and Colin are likeable.
  • Feels like a more complete story than The Arch-Mage’s Firebird.
  • The way Colin sees magic as colors.
  • The idea of a graphomancer.

Dislikes:

  • Flowery language.
  • Run-on sentences.
  • Story was enhanced because I read The Arch-Mage’s Firebird first.

Having read The Arch-Mage’s Firebird before this story puts me in a strange position. Port in the Storm was written several years before The Arch-Mage’s Firebird and is, as far as I can tell, the first story set in this universe. But I can’t ignore the fact that I came into this story knowing certain things about the world. And I can’t help but think that that knowledge made this story feel much more understandable.

I do think all the pertinent information was provided in this story. Colin’s situation does end up being well explained. However, since I already knew a little about Colin, and about how magical creatures operate in this society, I was ahead of the curve.

Perhaps that’s why I felt that this story was much more complete than The Arch-Mage’s Firebird. Then again, there weren’t as many flashback scenes this time around. The details of Colin’s life before the story began were sprinkled here and there instead of being plopped whole in the middle of the story. Because of that, this story has a nice flow.

There is also much less of the flowery language that bothered me so much in The Arch-Mage’s Firebird. It’s still there, in sentences like, “The moment extended, tremulous and newborn and poised amid all sorts of possibilities.” But not too much.

Both Colin and David were easy to like. David was so kind and gentle. And Colin, for all that he was a party boy, just wanted someone to love him, not just his magic. This story definitely had a soft, cozy feel to it.

I especially enjoyed that Colin saw David’s magic as colors. “Primrose and sunset-gold billowed optimistically through the other colors.” There was just enough talk about the magic to fill out the world, without overtaking the story. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the term ‘graphomancer’ before, but it was a neat idea.

Like with The Arch-Mage’s Firebird, I think this story could have easily been spun out into a full-fledged novella. Strictly speaking, it didn’t need to be, but I again can’t help but wonder why it wasn’t. There’s enough material.

I’m looking forward to reading the second story, which is a continuation of David and Colin’s relationship. Hopefully, I’ll like that one just as much.

Series Review: Future Series by Kate Hawthorne and E.M. Denning

I can’t actually rate this series, seeing as how I DNF-ed the last two books.

Series rating: Not Recommended

Books in order:

Likes:

  • Low angst.
  • Romance started fast.
  • No open homophobia.
  • Hot smut, and lots of it.

Dislikes:

  • Not much tension.
  • I didn’t finish the last two books.

For the first time since I’ve started doing series reviews, I didn’t feel like it was fair to give an actual number rating. Mostly because I didn’t finish two out of the three books. So, simply put, I don’t recommend this series.

The first book was nice. Not the best thing I’ve ever read, but it made me excited about going on to the next book. And then I was completely disappointed to not click with either of the other to books.

My disinterest in the second book came squarely from the lack of tension and conflict. The book was mostly about sex, or the lack of it. It simply wasn’t enough to keep my attention.

The third book turned me off almost from the first page. Luis was not a character I could root for or care about. And I’ve learned from years of reading romance that if I don’t care about one of the men, I won’t enjoy the romance.

To be fair to this series, I think a lot of the problems I had with the books were specific to me. Someone who doesn’t have the same pet peeves as I do wouldn’t have disliked Luis so intensely. That being said, the fact that I dropped two books in a row makes me hesitant to read anything from either of these authors again.

Review: The Arch-Mage’s Firebird by K.L. Noone

A good story idea, but way too short.

3.5 out of 5 stars

Kindle Edition. 41 pages. Published February 1st 2020 by JMS Books LLC

Blurb:

Thomas East was meant to be the youngest Arch-Mage in history, a magical genius and a solver of problems. But he hadn’t expected quite so many problems — not to mention the endless meetings, bureaucracy, and political negotiations. So he’s currently hiding in a sleepy California seaside town, working in an ice cream parlor and avoiding everyone he’s let down … until a firebird in need of rescue crashes into his shop.

Nicholas Incandesco has far too many problems. He’s a firebird, a shapeshifter, and a power source, and a lot of magicians could use someone with his gifts. He’s also technically a murder suspect with two magical bounty hunters on his trail. He just wants someplace safe to land, and the attractive witch behind the ice cream counter might offer a sweet refuge.

This encounter might be exactly what both Nicholas and Tom need to find themselves … and rescue each other. 

Likes:

  • Started off right when the action begins.
  • The story was good.
  • Tom wanted to help the familiars and magical creatures.
  • Both Tom and Nicholas seemed nice.
  • Tom was sympathetic.
  • The romance was fast but sweet.
  • Included a playlist.

Dislikes:

  • Way too short for my tastes.
  • Lots of backstory.
  • Hard to form a deep bond with either character.
  • The prose is a bit too flowery for my tastes. Lots of long sentences and semi-colons.

I’ll admit to being sucked in by the blurb and not checking the page length. My mistake. I could tell right away from how the story opened that this was going to be short. I expected a novella, but at only 43 pages, it’s not even that. A short story that’s on the long side, maybe.

I love a good novella, but this story is simply too short for my tastes. It focused basically on two scenes – in the ice cream parlor and in Tom’s apartment. Aside from that, there was a lot of backstory. That’s the downside of starting a story in the middle of action. You then have to explain how everyone ended up there.

From the backstory, I got a good feeling about both Tom and Nicholas. It was a little sad that I was judging them for their past actions rather than for the present ones, but I did approve of how Tom had fought to get magical creatures and familiars more rights in the magical society. I also sympathized with how Tom’s idealistic ideas of changing the world for the better came crashing down in the face of bureaucracy and greed.

The story was an interesting one, and a lot was packed into the few short pages. It definitely left me wanting more. I think there’s enough possibility here to have turned the story into a full-fledged novel, or even a good-sized novella, and I can’t help but wonder why it wasn’t. It was too short for me to form a deep attachment to either man, and left me wanting to watch the relationship actually develop. All that was on the page was the first blush of romance.

Then again, the flowery language, while fine in such a short story, would have gotten overwhelming in something longer. It wasn’t bad, just not suited to my tastes. I like simplicity, not overly long sentences, lots of semi-colons, and abundant similes. I’ve read fiction written by poets before, and that’s what this story reminded me of. I don’t think I could have read an entire novel filled with sentences like, “Companionable sunbeams, plump and indolent, traveled across the end of the bed. Met sheet-hills of white froth and plopped down, content.”

I did like that the author included a playlist of songs she listened to when writing. That was new to me.

Even though this story isn’t listed as part of a series, it’s loosely connected to two other stories, and I plan to read both of those as well. But sadly, they’re equally as short.