Category: 2 stars

Review: Borrowing Blue (Made Marian #1) by Lucy Lennox

The plot was fine. A little basic, but not bad. It was everything else that I didn’t like.

2 out of 5 stars

 E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 307 pages. Published November 23rd 2016

Blurb:

Blue: When my ex walks into the resort bar with his new husband on his arm, I want nothing more than to prove to him that I’ve moved on. Thankfully, the sexy stranger sitting next to me is more than willing to share a few kisses in the name of revenge. It gets even better when those scorching kisses turn into a night of fiery passion.

The only problem? Turns out the stranger’s brother is marrying my sister later this week.

Tristan: I have one rule: no messing with the guests at my vineyard resort. Of course the one exception I make turns out to be the brother of the woman my brother’s about to marry. Now we’re stuck together for a week of wedding activities, and there’s no avoiding the heat burning between us.

So fine, we make a deal: one week. One week to enjoy each other’s bodies and get it out of our system. Once the bride and groom say I do and we become family, it’ll all be over between us. Right?

Fair warning: Blue and Tristan’s story contains smoking hot scenes of man parts touching, pee-in-pants descriptions of grannies cursing, and the sweet improbability of two strangers finding their happily ever after when they least expect it.

Likes:

  • The Marian family at large.
  • Piper.
  • Tristan and Blue were likeable.
  • The plot wasn’t bad.

Dislikes:

  • The story’s tone is off.
  • Biphobia.
  • Gay stereotypes.
  • Homophobia.
  • The grannie’s constant sexual remarks.
  • The lack of reaction to serious incidents.
  • Too much sex.
  • The drama felt fake, unnecessary, and didn’t affect the main characters at all.
  • Prolonged first scene too focused on romance.
  • The pre-wedding week didn’t make sense.

Yuck.

This book has a good rating, so I’m obviously in the minority with my dislike. And to be fair, the book isn’t awful. Blue and Tristan are generally likeable, Piper the dog is adorable, the Marian family is cool, and the vineyard is lovely. The plot itself is a little basic, but not bad. I didn’t even mind the insta-love (seriously, they’re in love within 24 hours of meeting). But there are simply too many unlikable things about this book to ignore or forgive.

There are a couple of things that went wrong for me right from the start. First, Tristan and Blue meet right away at the beginning of the book. There’s no chance for the reader to get to know them before they’re focused on each other.  Sure, we learn facts about them, but they’re abstract facts. We barely get to see either man doing something by themselves away from the vineyard, and only at the end of the book. They spend most of the story in one location, surrounded by their families. If this was a novella, it would have been fine. In fact, I think the story would have been ten times better if the unnecessary drama and gratuitous sex scenes were cut, and the whole thing turned into a novella. As it is, I never got attached to the characters.

My second issue was the book’s tone. The author was clearly trying to make this a fun, happy, quirky book. None of it worked for me. Time after time, the characters waved off serious moments like they were no big deal, ignoring moments that would have had serious consequences, emotional or otherwise, in a different book. Tristan casually came out to his family despite knowing his brother was a raging homophobe, and didn’t spare a thought to any future consequences. An employee grabbed Tristan’s neck and slammed him against the wall, and there were no consequences for that employee.

Issue three was all of the biphobia, homophobia, negative gay stereotypes, and “funny” sexual remarks that were, at best, cringe worthy and at worst, sexual harassment. Tristan literally self-identifies as straight because he’s in his early thirties and hasn’t fooled around with a guy since college, so obviously his queer card has been revoked. Ridiculous.

Tristan does go through a not particularly stressful realization that he’s been repressing his attraction to men. But instead of realizing that he’s bisexual (he was married to a woman) he decides that he’s full-on gay now. Hello biphobia. Just about everyone in the book has it. And sadly, being gay doesn’t stop Tristan from negative gay stereotyping. When Blue offers to take Tristan to a gay bar, Tristan says, “Do I need to wear guyliner and go-go boots? Sprinkle myself with glitter?” To which Blue jokes, “You want to swing by my place and I can dress you up in some hot pants and a sequined tank top?” Then Blue laughs. “Oh my god, I’m joking. The look on your face. Jesus, Tris. Do I look like someone who wears that shit?”

John, Tristan’s brother, is the raging homophobe, with their mother less outspoken but no less obvious in her feelings. Why Blue’s sister wants to marry John when she’s got a whopping 5 openly gay brothers is never touched on.

The blurb describes “pee-in-pants descriptions of grannies cursing”, and if it was just swearing, I would have been fine with it. There’s a lot of it in the book already, and most went unnoticed. But the grannie’s other gimmick was their loud sexual comments about the main characters. Aunt Tilly was the worst. Speaking of one of the Marian brothers, she said, “Maybe he just needs to get laid. A good fuck ought to fix him right up. Works for me anyway,” she said with a shrug.” Ignoring the fact that Jude was under a lot of actual stress, I can’t help but be aware that if an old man was suggesting that his twentysomething female relative get laid, he’d be seen as a creep, while it’s supposed to be funny because Tilly’s an old woman.

And speaking of the Marian family, most of them live in California, where the vineyard is. Which made the week long pre-wedding get-together seem unnecessary. I could understand an exotic locale, but literally most of the characters lived within easy driving distance of the vineyard. Especially considering that the Marian family has 9 kids, three of whom are still in college. The cost of this event wasn’t touched on, and there was only a single vineyard specific activity planned all week. I know that the story had to happen that way to give Tristan and Blue time to insta fall in love, but the whole thing felt off.

As for Blue and Tristan, they seemed to fit well together. There was no major drama between them, and the rest of the drama barely touched them. Because of that, the drama felt manufactured, and I rolled my eyes a lot. Honestly, it felt like Blue and Tristan mostly had sex. I did take issue with the fact that, since Blue and Tristan met at the vineyard’s restaurant, they’d consumed beer, wine, and multiple shots by the time they got naked together for the first time. Blue did stop things between them because of all the alcohol. Then he immediately changed his mind because Tristan said he wouldn’t regret it in the morning. By my count, they had sex 15 times throughout the book, all but two on page and detailed. I’m no prude, but that was too much. I enjoy sex that deepens the relationship or furthers the plot. Most of the sex in this book was just filler.

While the actual writing wasn’t bad, I have zero interest in any of the other books in the series, and honestly wish I had DNFed the book instead of pushing through to the end. It wasn’t worth it.

Review: Magpie (Forbidden Desires Spin-off #2) by Piper Scott and Virginia Kelly

Didn’t like either character.

2 out of 5 stars

E-book. Kindle Edition. 250 pages. Published March 9th 2020

Blurb:

Reynard Drake, solitary cybersecurity expert and curator of the Drake family fortune, would rather be chucked in the midden than forced to bed an omega, but as the selected Amethyst candidate for the mating experiment, he has no other choice. Resigned to his unhappy fate, he takes solace in the fact that one thing will never change—his virtual rival, Magpie, will always be there to keep him on his toes, even if he has been strangely absent from the internet lately…

Diamond Disgrace Misha Vasiliev has a secret. By day he learns what it takes to warm a dragon’s bed, but at night he’s Magpie, renowned hacker and dark web service provider who steals from dragons in his spare time. His favorite target? Reynard Drake, whom he’s only ever seen in pictures, but whom Misha wants more than anyone else.

And now, with a faceless threat closing in on his cloister, quite possibly the only one capable of saving his life.

Magpie is a 64,000 word steamy omegaverse mpreg-ish romance set during the events of the Forbidden Desires series. It contains pretty things hidden where the sun don’t shine; a scandalous screenshot or two; plenty of laughs; its fair share of tense moments; and, of course, “Beagle!” For maximum enjoyment, Magpie is best read as a companion piece to the Forbidden Desires series. 

Likes:

  • Misha did research on BDSM.
  • Reynard accepted the submissive side of himself.
  • Good start.

Dislikes:

  • Misha was a brat.
  • Reynard was just a meh character.
  • Both men needed constant help from the Drake family.
  • Both men showed constant dislike of the Drake family.
  • Misha ignoring Reynard’s safe word.
  • Soggy middle.
  • Neither Misha nor Reynard had much going on in their lives.
  • Neither man was as well fleshed out as previous couples.
  • Too much sex.
  • Didn’t get to find out what was going on with the bad guys.

With book series, much like clutches of dragon eggs, there’s always the risk of a dud. And this is it.

I’m not surprised that one book in this series didn’t work for me. That can happen with longer series. I just didn’t expect to dislike this book so much.

I initially liked Misha. Despite being a Disgrace, he learned how to hack and specifically targeted dragons. It showed ingenuity, skill, and determination. His focus on Reynard, and his decision to meet him in person, made me curious to see how things would turn out.

But my feelings toward Misha quickly soured. Yes, he’s a skilled hacker. Yes, he wanted to top a dragon, and knew ahead of time that Reynard was submissive. And Misha absolutely gets points for doing research on BDSM. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a brat. He’s selfish and dismissive and never felt like a capitol D Dom.

Reynard needed a Dom. Not just someone to top him, but someone to care and comfort and nurture him. Misha showed up and began issuing orders, expecting Reynard to jump to it. Misha did nothing to earn Reynard’s trust. It really felt like Reynard was so desperate for someone to accept him as a submissive dragon, that he fell for the first person to come along.

There was nothing about Misha that felt like what I think a Dom should be. There was no mention of aftercare. Reynard didn’t even feel like he was given much choice in the matter. Misha just showed up and expected to be treated like a pampered prince. But the thing that completely ruined my opinion of Misha was when he didn’t honor Reynard’s safe word. A safe word means everything stops. Misha left Reynard tied up and made Reynard say, “It’s serious, Misha. When I said beagle, I meant it.” And even then, Misha didn’t untie Reynard! In that moment, it became clear that Misha wasn’t a Dom, he just liked playing one.

I don’t have much to say about Reynard. He was just kind of bland. There wasn’t much going on in his life. I did feel bad that he was made to feel bad because he was submissive. More stupid dragon machismo at work. At least he accepted his submissive side and ended up happy with Misha, even if that did include too much on page sex.

Over the past four books, I’ve come to like the Drake family. So the constant dismissiveness and disdain that both Misha and Reynard showed for the family rankled. Especially since Everard took time away from his own family to help Reynard learn how to channel his magic, and Bertram, Everard, and Sebastian put themselves in harms way to deal with the bad guys. Honestly, aside from the sex, Reynard and Misha couldn’t seem to do much for themselves.

I didn’t like that the problem with the bad guys wasn’t explained. Bertram said he’d take care of it, but there are two other books between this one and his story. I also didn’t like that Misha got himself into trouble and had to be bailed out. He didn’t do anything. It wasn’t a good look for him, character-wise. He felt really impotent, unable to do anything other than spend other people’s money.

Overall, this book was just lesser than the previous ones. There was so much focus on the sex because neither man had nothing else going on in their life. Yet there’s not much in the way of character development either. There’s a soggy middle, where the plot slows and my interest waned. By the 80% mark, I already knew the book would be low scored and I considered giving up. But I pushed through, which actually lowered my final rating even farther. I hope Misha and Reynard don’t show up in future books, because I really don’t like either of them.

Be sure to check out the other books in the series – Clutch (Forbidden Desires #1), Bond (Forbidden Desires #2), Mate (Forbidden Desires #3), Swallow (Forbidden Desires Spin-off #1) 

Review: Pumpkin Rolls and Porn Sounds by Kris T. Bethke

I felt disengaged and ended up giving up halfway.

2 out of 5 stars

DNF 50%

Kindle Edition. 53 pages. Published September 21st 2019 by JMS Books LLC (first published February 11th 2015)

Blurb:

Will Grant only attends the PFLAG meeting because his mother guilts him into it. But the instant he hears the night’s speaker, Will is glad he showed up. Joshua Rhinehardt is dynamic and engaging. Although Joshua isn’t physically Will’s type, Will can’t get the man out of his head.

Joshua may be comfortable in his own skin, but it isn’t often men like Will are attracted to him, and he’s not comfortable changing for someone else. He wants to make a life with Will, but his own insecurities keep getting in the way.

Will’s unwavering acceptance helps Joshua see that when two people connect, physical appearance just might not matter at all. 

Likes:

  • Will was willing to go at Joshua’s pace.

Dislikes:

  • Didn’t click with Will.
  • No tension.
  • Will feels like a chick with a dick.
  • Didn’t care.

DNF 50%

I once had to listen to a newly engaged couple gush about how they’d met and fallen in love. Reading this story was similar, in that I didn’t care and ended up bored. Now, to be fair to this story, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it in technical terms. But I felt massively disengaged from Will right from the start, which was really strange given that the story was told from his point of view.

Will and Joshua seemed like okay characters. They simply didn’t have anything interesting about them or their lives. Will isn’t exactly the kind of character I generally gravitate to – he’s hot and he knows it, is a self-professed attention whore, and his reaction to the first date gave me strong ‘chick with a dick’ vibes.

“I stood there for a moment, letting the giddy “first date” feelings wash over me. It had been so good, and I had to trust there would be more. I was still hard, but I didn’t do anything about it. I just puttered around the house, slowly getting ready for bed while my brain replayed that kiss over and over.

Eventually, I stripped off my clothes and crawled into bed. It wasn’t that late – not even eleven yet – but I wanted to lie in the quiet and remember every moment of our date. I didn’t care if that put me in the same category as a teenaged girl. I relieved it as though it were happening all over again. I fell asleep several hours later, a smile on my lips and anticipation in my heart.”

I think the strangest part of the passage above is that it doesn’t mesh with my overall impression of Will. He’s bold and flirtatious, going for what he wants because he knows he can get it. His willingness to go at Joshua’s pace was nice, but he admitted several times that he wasn’t good at waiting and got impatient easily.

I’m not used to romance stories that don’t have anything else going on besides the romance. Even in short stories like this one, there’s background stuff happening. I think that contributed to my feeling of boredom, as did the fact that the story is stretched out over the course of weeks. There was a lot of jumping around, from Joshua and Will’s initial meeting, to their second meeting, to the first date, a random phone call, etc.

I honestly feel bad for not finishing such a short story, but I had to force myself to even make it halfway. I kept putting the story down and finding any excuse not to pick it back up. It simply wasn’t worth the time to finish.

Review: Future Ex Enemy (Future Series #3) by Kate Hawthorne and E.M. Denning

I hated Luis from the start.

2 out of 5 stars

DNF 12%

E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 210 pages. Published August 8th 2019

Blurb:

If there’s one thing David Cranston hates, it’s Luis Montgomery.

When he finds out they’ve both been invited to participate in a floral contest that could make or break both of their careers, David dives in, ready to win.
But there’s only one problem, and there’s only one bed.

David and Luis are forced together and tension isn’t the only thing running hot between the two of them. David realizes he wants to come out on top…in more ways than one.

A drunken night and a hungover morning leave both men regretting actions that found them a little bit too close. Unfortunately, they keep getting closer, and closer, until the lines between hate and desire blur into something far more complicated than either of them bargained for.

Back home, Luis and David struggle to make sense of their feelings, and Luis has to face some hard truths. He thought he hated David and his roses and his baby’s breath and his lemon verbena lotion, but he was so wrong.

Because if there’s one thing Luis Montgomery loves, it’s David Cranston. 

Likes:

  • Tangential to the Kingston brothers without feeling forced.

Dislikes:

  • Literally everything about Luis.
  • David was presented as someone bland and boring.
  • More formatting issues.

DNF 12%

Because I DNF-ed the previous book, Future Gay Boyfriend, I knew that the best way to give this book a fair shot was to read something else as a palate cleanser of sorts. After a few days and a nonfiction book, I felt good as I cracked open Future Ex Enemy. And experienced an instant and almost visceral hatred of Luis.

To be fair to the authors, my hatred of Luis is entirely my own. He embodies so many of my pet peeves that it’s unreal. I’m a millennial, so I don’t hate on millennials, but Luis is like a condensed version of all the things people hate millennials for. And it’s not just because he showed up late to his interview because he tried and failed to satisfactorily tie his bowtie. (But I mean, come on. If you can’t tie a bowtie, don’t wear one. It’s that simple.)

No, what made me hate Luis was that he was just a random employee at Kingston Party Rentals and one day he decided to rearrange a bride’s wedding centerpieces without her permission because he thought they were dated. WTF?? I don’t care that it turned out well in the end. You don’t touch other people’s stuff without permission. And at that point, Luis was not interested in flower arrangement. He was just a random guy who thought he knew better than anyone else.

This backstory is probably meant to make Luis seem like he has a natural talent for design. To me, he seemed like an entitled asshole. But I was still willing to give him a shot. And then he walks into his interview with David like he’s hot shit, when he still had literally no experience in flower arrangement. He didn’t even want to work at Designs by David, but “A job in a place like this wasn’t his ideal first gig, but he needed to start somewhere, and this place was hiring.”

This is why people want to punch millennials in the face. Luis has no training, formal or otherwise, only picked up the idea to work with flowers recently, and has an ego the size of Texas. Sure, he knows a little about flower symbolism. The story doesn’t say how he picked that info up. If it had hinted at him actually doing some research, maybe reading a book, I wouldn’t be so mad. But as he’s presented, I hated Luis.

Then there’s David, “overall, a pretty standard looking guy.” Not exactly an exciting start. But at least I didn’t hate him. If anything, I liked David. Middle aged, worried about his business, and he also hated Luis.

I might have continued to read a bit more of the book just for David, if the spark between the two men hadn’t felt so fake. There was absolutely no spark or even sign of interest between the men during their first meeting. Which made the line “If David Cranston was younger, or even less disagreeable, Luis would have had half a mind to pin the man against the wall and fuck the contrariness right out of him” seem even more out of place. I literally said, “What?!” when I read that line. It comes out of nowhere. A blatant, heavy-handed attempt by the authors to generate a spark when it’s not coming naturally.

I don’t even remember the last time I gave up on a book so quickly. I actually felt a little bad that I didn’t get farther. But I could just tell that I wasn’t going to enjoy the story.

Disasterology 101 by Taylor V. Donovan

This book did not bring me joy.

2 out of 5 stars

E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 362 pages. Published July 17th 2013 by MLR Press

Blurb:

Kevin Morrison had it all. A house he worked hard for, a loving wife, and three beautiful children. But it wasn’t until his marriage ended that he realized what the void he’d felt almost all his life meant. Coming out as a gay man at thirty-six is not an easy feat, but he is determined to be true to his heart. Meeting a man who shares his values, and is good with his children would be a bonus, but when the guy arrives in a uniquely wrapped package, and has very specific handling instructions, Kevin needs to decide if he’s up for that kind of love.

Obsessed with order and symmetry, and a paralyzing fear of germs, Cedric Haughton-Disley has lived with isolation and loneliness as long as he can remember. Desperate to be normal, he makes some much-needed changes in his life. If he can commit to his treatment, he might very well be able to procure some quality of life… even if that’s all he can get, as finding love and having a relationship are only possible in Cedric’s wildest dreams. But when a chance encounter leaves Cedric wishing for more, he decides to take a leap of faith, and pursue the guy he wants.

Together the two men make an unlikely match. Cedric needs organization, and Kevin represents chaos. In order to stay together they both need to compromise, but will they be able to deal with Cedric’s issues and the potential disaster, or let it break them apart? 

Likes:

  • Main character with a mental illness.
  • Cedric wasn’t ‘fixed’ by Kevin.
  • Therapy being shown as a good thing.
  • Seeing Cedric get better.
  • All the issues in the book were handled well.
  • Both men were painfully human.
  • The kids.
  • Kevin’s coming out journey.
  • Hot smut.

Dislikes:

  • Kevin lost all my respect near the end.
  • Reading the book didn’t make me happy.
  • Character were constantly worried, nervous, upset, or confused.
  • The constant thinking about sex got monotonous.
  • This story is mostly about sex and OCD.
  • Underlying misogyny and machismo.
  • Kevin was framed as a knight in shining armor, but he’s just normal nice.
  • Long.
  • Little of either of their lives comes up until the end of the book.
  • No other options looked into for Cedric’s ED.

While I think this book was well written, I didn’t enjoy reading it.

The book would have gotten 3 stars if it wasn’t for Kevin losing all my respect at the end. I didn’t dislike the book enough to stop reading it. In fact, I loved that Cedric had a mental illness that controlled his life. Watching him fight to overcome his OCD was touching. But both Cedric and Kevin struggled because of the OCD.

I read romance novels because I empathize with the characters. I love watching them grow and change, and I experience the highs and lows of their relationship along with them. Most romance books have a lot of happiness in them. Falling in love is a joyful thing. The few low points in a typical romance only serve to make the sweet moments even sweeter.

This book did have moments of happiness and joy, but they were vastly outweighed by the low points. Cedric and Kevin spent most of the book worried, nervous, upset, or confused. It suits the story, but it didn’t make for a fun read.

I am glad that Cedric was working hard to make himself better, and I always love when books portray therapy in a positive light. Cedric wasn’t ‘fixed’ by Kevin’s love, but wanting to have a lasting relationship with Kevin gave Cedric the motivation he needed to work to better himself. I honestly can’t fault the author for the way Cedric’s OCD was handled. There was no magic pill, and it was something both men had to navigate.

The fact that Kevin was so accommodating about Cedric’s OCD was both fantastic and a little too ‘knight in shining armor’. On the one hand, Kevin treated Cedric with respect and dignity. Which was great. But it felt like Kevin was treated like he was something extra special just for showing common decency. He was far from perfect, as evidence by the stunt he pulled near the end of the book.

Kevin ended up losing all my respect at the 85% mark. It didn’t matter that Cedric forgave him or that Kevin knew he was being shitty. As Cedric put it, “The man he was in love with had made a conscious decision that had the potential of setting Cedric back months in his treatment.” And then a few pages later, Kevin intentionally crossed Cedric’s boundaries again and made Cedric vomit. If I hadn’t been so close to the end of the book, I would have dropped it. As it was, Kevin’s actions lost the book a star.

Which is a shame, because this book does have its good points. Kevin and Cedric are both painfully human. Kevin’s first time was so incredibly self-centered, but there was believability in that. The same with Kevin’s coming out experience. Incredibly realistic, yet heartwarming to see the journey. The way Kevin’s kids reacted was fantastic, and was probably the best part of the story.

I definitely could have done without the underlying themes of machismo and misogyny. They were scattered through the book, so ingrained it wasn’t even questioned. The way Kevin put his wife up on a metaphorical pedestal and how Cedric refers to himself as “less than a man” several times because of his ED. There wasn’t even any talk of using toys, in big part because it’s not ‘manly’, and that was frustrating too.

Especially since sex is one of the main focuses of the book. Cedric and Kevin fall into insta-lust when they first meet. It leads to both of them constantly thinking about having sex, which was incredibly monotonous at the beginning. Even after they get together, sex is still the biggest driver of the story, aside from the OCD. Between the two, there isn’t much page space for anything else. Both Kevin and Cedric have a lot going on in their lives, but little of it is shown except for at the end.

Even if I hadn’t lost all respect for Kevin at the end of the book, I still would have been disappointed in this story. The OCD and sex completely swamped the story. The book is long and sometimes it felt like a slog to get through. The emotional complexity turned into a negative for me. I’m glad all the issues were handled so thoughtfully, but this book did not bring me joy.

Review: Watch with Glittering Eyes by K.S. Murphy

I feel bad for picking the story apart, but it didn’t work for me at all.

2 out of 5 stars

E-book. 80 pages. Published February 8th 2020 by JMS Books LLC

Blurb:

Travis Grayweaver is a witch with two significant problems.

First, he has a tendency to run toward trouble instead of away from it without the insurance of a Guild to back him. As a freelancing witch taking odd jobs wherever he can, this has landed him in some trouble with the Grand Council of High Magic.

Second, he’s madly in love with his best friend Niko, and is much too afraid to confess his feelings to him.

Niko, born between the corporeal and ethereal worlds, is a familiar — cat one minute, human the next — with a rare, pure source of magick sought after by people all over the world. When contracted, familiars will do whatever they have to in order to protect their human. Although Travis has no contract with Niko, they share an unshakable bond built on friendship, loyalty, and trust.

But their bond is put to the ultimate test when something dark and sinister threatens their community and their lives. If they don’t stop it in time, Travis might lose Niko — and the chance to ever tell him how he really feels — forever. 

Likes:

  • The blurb hooked me.
  • The basic story idea is interesting.
  • That Travis decided not to join a guild.
  • The side characters were all people of color.
  • Short.

Dislikes:

  • The blurb was deceiving.
  • Niko is basically the physical manifestation of a fetish.
  • No character development for either man.
  • Niko and Travis are already lovers.
  • No hook.
  • Slow plot.
  • Heavy exposition.
  • Unnecessary flashback.
  • How they dealt with the threat was cliché.
  • Travis’s excuse for not joining a guild was lame.
  • The lack of magic bond between Travis and Niko was left unresolved.
  • Use of the word ‘magick’
  • Confusion about where the story was taking place.

This book is an excellent example of an idea that failed to live up to its potential. The blurb was exciting and I was looking forward to a good read. I love stories where one friend has fallen in love with the other and is afraid that confessing will change everything between them. I knew that the story was short, only 80 pages, and expected the plot to take off like a rocket in order to fit everything in.

Instead, the story took off like a herd of turtles with bad knees. The beginning was slow, exposition heavy, and lacked a hook. I expected the trouble with the Grand Council of High Magic to be a central plot point, but no. The story starts with Travis bringing groceries home after getting done with the council meeting, since “he really hadn’t been worried” about the outcome.   

I would definitely say the blurb was misleading about the magic council aspect, and only included it to make the story sound more exciting. Thankfully, the other non-romantic aspects mentioned in the blurb were present. Travis is a freelance witch, and spends a good chunk of the story doing or preparing to do odd jobs.

My favorite thing about this book is the fact that Travis declined to join a guild. He mentioned that, since he was freelance, he could charge less for services, which made his magic accessible to an underrepresented population. I love that, and wish it was the main reason he didn’t join a guild. Unfortunately, his real reason was lackluster in the extreme and was literally summed up in a single sentence. It actually made me a little angry, because not being associated with a guild put Travis in a precarious position. Both he and Niko, the man he loves, would be safer in a guild.

Which brings me to the danger Niko is in. As a familiar, Niko’s brand of magic is highly valued. As long as he’s bonded to a witch, who he’d then protect with his life, he’s safe. So of course Travis never bonded with him, because he’s too embarrassed to ask. It’s a plotline I expected to develop during the story, but no. It’s not brought up again and they never magically bond.

But they do make love. That’s right, in a romance where the main problem is that Travis is “much too afraid to confess his feelings” he and Niko are already lovers. Travis simply hasn’t said the words. I almost dropped the story when I got to that point. Like, are you kidding me? Here I was expecting one-sided feelings that finally burst forth and make Travis and Niko go from friends to lovers. Instead, what I got was a confession that didn’t fundamentally change the nature of their relationship.

There are a lot of things I didn’t find satisfying about this book, but Niko is definitely the worst. Not because of his personality or abilities, but for what he represents. I like anime, so I’m familiar with cat girls, or nekomimi. They’re a popular character type, both for their looks – cat ears and tail – and for possessing the hot/cold personality seen in cats. They’re treated as pets, which means they have owners. And that, from what I can tell, is the appeal. They’re not an equal. The romantic/sexual relationship is more like that of a sugar daddy who provides everything in exchange for the cat girl’s eternal love and affection.

Niko felt exactly like a nekomimi. Physically, he was one, complete with ears, tail, and whiskers, but with a human-enough body to have sex. At first, Travis’s relationship with Niko was giving me bestiality vibes, but then I realized that nekomimi was the more apt comparison. And it’s not like it was possible to forget that Niko was part cat. Niko’s actions and behaviors were always cat like, from the way he slept to his dislike of water. Travis constantly called Niko ‘kitten’, especially during sex.

            “Want me to make you feel good again, Niko? Like my good little kitty?”

            Niko meowed and nodded. “Please. Say it. Tell me I’m your good kitty.”

I try not to kink shame, and nekomimi are a popular fantasy. That’s fine. If this was an erotica story, Niko wouldn’t have bothered me. But this novella was presented as a romance. And Niko was nothing more than the physical embodiment of a fetish. His personality was ‘cat’ and he had no character development.

Honestly, there are a lot of other little things that bothered me about this story. I was confused about whether the story was taking place in a fantasy world or the real one. The flashback to how Niko and Travis met was unnecessary and slowed the story down. All the named side characters were people of color but the two main characters were white. The way they dealt with the threat at the end was cliché.

I do feel bad for picking this story apart, especially since it’s been published by a small queer press. But sometimes a book just doesn’t work for me and I have to give a bad review. I would be willing to give the author another shot in the future. The potential is there. It just didn’t come together well.

Review: Seeker’s Portrait (Elements of Dragonis #2) by Hannah Walker

DNF 63%.I lost confidence that the author had thought through the story. It’s a shame because the base idea was good.

2 out of 5 stars

DNF 63%

E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 481 pages. Published December 15th 2016

Blurb:

Prince Elijan has spent his life protected by castle walls, prevented from fully experiencing the world outside. He longs to see the empire he will one day rule, but his only view is from the safety of the windows in his suite. He yearns to find out what life has to offer. When he’s given the chance to work with the dragons, and a desire to learn their language flares to life, he is finally granted some freedom.

Aldren’s life has always been about the dragons. As a Rider, he is dedicated to the protection of the kingdom. He’s always been willing to step up when he is called upon, but his latest orders come directly from the king, and for once, Aldren isn’t sure he the right man for the job.

Protecting the king’s only son is not something to be taken lightly, and when Aldren meets Elijan, the instant attraction he has for the man complicates matters even more. Still, he’s never refused a job before and he isn’t about to start now.

Working and living side by side brings Elijan and Aldren together, forcing them both to admit to the emotions stirring inside them. It only takes one kiss and no matter the risk, the two of them refuse to ignore the chemistry between them.

When danger comes calling, and Elijan experiences strange visions that manifest in his drawings, Aldren worries. How does he protect the prince from an enemy he can’t see?

With friends, both man and dragon, by their side, the two must learn who seeks them out and what the information they’ve gained from Elijan’s drawings might mean, but at the same time, they must protect the dragons. Evil lurks around them, but so does salvation. Drawn into a dangerous destiny, Aldren and Elijan find that love and friendship really can conquer all.

Likes:

  • The relationship between Andren and Elijan.
  • The dragons.
  • The seeker plot.

Dislikes:

  • Insta-love.
  • Both Aldren and Elijan feel two dimensional.
  • Didn’t hook me.
  • No forward momentum.
  • Aldren’s resolve only lasted two days.
  • Too many pronouns.
  • Elijan doesn’t act like a prince.
  • Huge chunks of dialogue.
  • No drama, tension, or suspense with the romance.
  • Both Elijan and Aldren are *perfect*
  • The ‘seeker’ part of the plot started way too late.
  • Scenes with Frode came to feel like filler.
  • Elijan’s romance issues became just as annoying as Con’s in the previous book.
  • So many open, honest emotions in every conversation.
  • The alternating POV isn’t always followed.
  • All romantic tension wrapped up early.
  • Guards don’t have magic.

DNF 63%

This book didn’t hook me. I would read half a chapter, then put it down. If I’m invested in a book, I don’t want to stop reading. But I thought that, since the characters, plot, and romance were all fine, I’d be able to finish the book eventually.

And I tried. Even as I came across more things that turned me off, I kept going. Because I wanted to know how things turned out, not just with the romance but with questions left over from the previous book, like ‘Who sent Rillian the spell book and why?’

In the end, the number of things I disliked about the book were too many. It ended up feeling like each chapter had something new that didn’t make sense. I don’t know anything about what the author was thinking when she wrote this book, but it felt like she didn’t stop to ask herself, ‘Does this make sense in a larger context?’

Despite that, there were some things I liked about this book. First, Elijan is a virgin who’s never been kissed, and Aldren takes things slow. Everything they did together was designed to make it good for Elijan.  Second, the dragons. Grith was my favorite this time around, but Frode was super cute too. Third, the non-romantic plot about who sent the spell book and the whole ‘seeker’ thing was interesting.

As for my dislikes, it started with the way the book is structured. The first 34% is all about two things – Elijan and Aldren’s romance and Elijan hanging out with the dragons. Compared to the previous book that had action and mystery right from the start, the beginning of this book had no hook.

The reason why it took so long for the seeker part of the book to begin was because Rill and Con were away on their honeymoon. Nothing with the nonromantic plot advanced until they returned. Looking back on the first third of the book, a lot of it felt like filler. Especially the stuff with Frode. It was like ‘Look! A baby dragon! Focus on how cute he is and ignore the immobile plot.’

Then there was the insta-love. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but Aldren’s resolve not to get romantically involved with Elijan only lasted two days. Which meant that there was almost no tension, drama, or suspense. Once the romance began, it developed incredibly quickly, so that by the 48% mark, the only thing they had left to do was tell the king and queen.

The fact that Elijan and Aldren felt two dimensional didn’t help me get invested in their romance. Aldren is a strong, brave, loyal, dedicated dragon Rider. If he has family, hobbies, or plans for the future, we don’t get to see that. Though to be fair, we didn’t see that for Rill and Con in the previous book, which just goes to show that it’s easier to ignore some things when you’re hooked on the story.

But it’s Elijan’s character that really bothered me. Elijan is sweet, innocent, good natured, friendly, open, and wears his heart on his sleeve. Oh, and he’s also the crown prince. And if it seems weird for a crown prince to be completely guileless, you’re right. It is weird. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that Elijan never once acted like a prince. Hell, his every emotion was visible on his face. It felt as though the author didn’t stop to wonder if this was the way a prince would act.

That aside, my biggest problem with Elijan was how *perfect* he was. Everyone loved him. He fit in with the stable lads without even trying. Aldren fell for him right away. The dragons loved him.

He’s Frode’s Eithreadal. The dragons claimed him. He’s Aldren’s bond mate. He’s the seeker. He’s a mage with great powers. He’s the crown prince.

Elijan literally has no flaws. And you can’t root for someone who has no flaws, because they don’t struggle with anything. The only things Elijan struggles with are A.) getting people to treat him like an adult and B.) believing Aldren’s heartfelt confessions of love.

Which brings me to the dialogue, which can accurately be summed up as the ‘Why use one sentence when you could use five’ approach. The book could use some serious editing, both for length and content. Because it wasn’t just the long chunks of dialogue, it’s what was said. Everyone spoke openly and from the heart all the time. Not only was it unnatural, it significantly lowered the impact of what was being said. Add in the overuse of pronouns – “The fact he gave up all control to him, allowed him to do what he wanted, was an exquisite form of trust and one he received reverently.” – and the writing could be a little hard to read sometimes.   

The final straw that made me lose all confidence in the author was the whole ‘guards can’t protect Elijan from magic’ argument. Which is crazy. You’re trying to tell me that in a world with magic and mages, that not a single palace guard is capable of doing magic? This smacks of not thinking thing through. Of not asking ‘Does this make sense in a larger context?’

I have to admit, I’m incredibly disappointed with this book. It has all the ingredients of a great story, it just didn’t come out well. But if there’s one thing I’m grateful for, it’s that now I don’t have to read the next book in the series, which is a whopping 676 pages long.

You can find the review for the first book in the series, Booker’s Song, which I enjoyed, here.

Review: Remember Him (Honey Bay #1) by Steve Milton

Wasn’t hooked, didn’t care. DNF 55%.

2 out of 5 stars

Kindle Unlimited. 153 pages. Published December 23rd 2019

Blurb:

Baxter Rawlins: a real heartbreaker.

He broke my heart ten years ago.

Back in high school, Baxter pretended he didn’t know me. I was a skinny, plaid-shirt-wearing nobody. I was openly gay, but nobody even cared — except Baxter, when he wanted a hookup. That was all a nerd like me could expect from the star quarterback and prom king. He treated me as his shameful secret.

I’ve stayed away from Baxter for a decade now, even when he came back to visit Honey Bay.

I’m older now. Wiser. I know I deserve better. But I can’t stop thinking about those fleeting moments in Baxter’s arms.

Andy Silver: my one weakness.

Every time Andy smiled at me from under his floppy hair, I couldn’t help myself. How could a nerd in wire-rimmed glasses be so hot?

It was a high school fling. I spent ten years running away from it. My parents never would have understood who I really was. Disappointing my father was out of the question. I couldn’t live the life I wanted, even if I loved Andy more than he ever knew.

Bumping into Andy ten years later was the shock of my life. That shy nerd is a celebrity now? And he works out? I shouldn’t dwell on how much I miss being with him, even if every sight of him sends me there.

My parents sent me to Honey Bay for business. I might just stick around for a second chance at love.

Remember Him is a 42,000-word small-town second-chances gay romance. On their way to a feel-good happy ever after, a jock and a nerd dodge windmill blades, fog up the windows, and discuss the fine points of timber, lumber, and plain old wood.

Likes:

  • Two classic tropes – second chance at love and jock/nerd.
  • Baxter realized how much he hurt Andy.
  • Baxter is no longer the big man in town.
  • Andy’s new lifestyle.

Dislikes:

  • Andy and Baxter acted like teenagers.
  • Neither man was particularly interesting.
  • Despite first person POV, the story lacked depth.
  • Lots of little inconsistencies.
  • No reason given for why Baxter was afraid of disappointing his dad.
  • Andy’s nerdy/geeky/dorky/quirky/cuteness got old fast.
  • Unexplained celibacy.

DNF 55%

I didn’t hate this book. Most books I DNF because I can’t stand them. This one I just didn’t want to keep reading. Put simply, I wasn’t hooked. Not by the characters, the plot, or a desire to see how it would all turn out.

To be fair, before I get into my many complaints, I will say that the plot itself isn’t bad. It’s got two classic tropes – second chance at love and jock/nerd pairings. Plus, Andy isn’t the skinny nerd he was back in high school. He’s got muscles now! And I do love when an ugly duckling grows up into a beefcake.

Even better is that Baxter is well aware of how much he hurt Andy, without needing to be told. He apologizes numerous times, and even came to town with a gift for Andy, even though he didn’t know if they would see each other. It really showed just how much Baxter never forgot Andy. The only forgetting was done by the townspeople, who no longer treat Baxter like he’s the prom king golden boy.

On the downside, this book suffers in the same areas as a lot of other self-published books. The line editing was good – no spelling errors or missing punctuation – but the story needs a good editor and some honest beta readers.

Despite being first person point of view, the story lacked depth. Andy and Baxter haven’t seen each other since high school. I was expecting lots of emotional turmoil. I was disappointed. The story didn’t delve into either man’s emotions. It made for flat, bland reading.

Andy and Baxter were twenty-eight and acted like teenagers. Dick jokes galore. I understand that they haven’t seen each other since high school and it’s easy to fall into old habits. The immature joking would have been fine in small doses, but it was constant. Neither man felt like an adult.

Andy was especially cringy. I felt like I was constantly being beaten over the head with how awkward yet adorkable he was. I didn’t find him adorkable. His ironic thumbs up and constant eye rolling got annoying fast. It also didn’t feel realistic. Yeah, he’s a nerd, but he’s not the socially awkward guy he was in high school. He’s a well-liked fixture in the community.

Baxter was fine without actually making it to ‘likeable’. He’s terrified at his dad finding out that he’s gay and lives in fear of being a disappointment. But it was never explained why. Baxter basically let his dad plan his life. He never tried to do anything other than follow orders to get a  business degree and join the family business. He even married a woman as camouflage (which I think is a really shitty thing to do and didn’t improve my opinion of him).

The sex scene needed work. It’s not always easy to get it right. For me, words like ‘dickhead’  are a weak insult, not an actual description to be used in smut. Don’t even get me started on ‘cockshaft’. Also, both men are gay but for whatever reason, neither of them was ever with another man in the 10 years they were apart. But don’t worry, despite never having sucked a dick in his life, Baxter is fully capable of deepthroating on his first try.

My final complaint is about all the little inconsistencies and things that don’t make sense. There’s a fair amount of things like rolling down the car windows although they were rolled down just a few pages prior. Baxter also drove his car from New York City to Florida just on the off chance he saw Andy. According to Google, that’s an 18 hour trip. That’s just plain stupid.

Overall, it was the little things that sunk this story. I stuck with it as long as I could, but there are so many better books out there, I couldn’t justify spending the time to finish it. Which is a shame because I think the author has talent. They just need better editing.