2 out of 5 stars
E-book. Kindle Unlimited. 362 pages. Published July 17th 2013 by MLR Press
Blurb:
Kevin Morrison had it all. A house he worked hard for, a loving wife, and three beautiful children. But it wasn’t until his marriage ended that he realized what the void he’d felt almost all his life meant. Coming out as a gay man at thirty-six is not an easy feat, but he is determined to be true to his heart. Meeting a man who shares his values, and is good with his children would be a bonus, but when the guy arrives in a uniquely wrapped package, and has very specific handling instructions, Kevin needs to decide if he’s up for that kind of love.
Obsessed with order and symmetry, and a paralyzing fear of germs, Cedric Haughton-Disley has lived with isolation and loneliness as long as he can remember. Desperate to be normal, he makes some much-needed changes in his life. If he can commit to his treatment, he might very well be able to procure some quality of life… even if that’s all he can get, as finding love and having a relationship are only possible in Cedric’s wildest dreams. But when a chance encounter leaves Cedric wishing for more, he decides to take a leap of faith, and pursue the guy he wants.
Together the two men make an unlikely match. Cedric needs organization, and Kevin represents chaos. In order to stay together they both need to compromise, but will they be able to deal with Cedric’s issues and the potential disaster, or let it break them apart?
Likes:
- Main character with a mental illness.
- Cedric wasn’t ‘fixed’ by Kevin.
- Therapy being shown as a good thing.
- Seeing Cedric get better.
- All the issues in the book were handled well.
- Both men were painfully human.
- The kids.
- Kevin’s coming out journey.
- Hot smut.
Dislikes:
- Kevin lost all my respect near the end.
- Reading the book didn’t make me happy.
- Character were constantly worried, nervous, upset, or confused.
- The constant thinking about sex got monotonous.
- This story is mostly about sex and OCD.
- Underlying misogyny and machismo.
- Kevin was framed as a knight in shining armor, but he’s just normal nice.
- Long.
- Little of either of their lives comes up until the end of the book.
- No other options looked into for Cedric’s ED.
While I think this book was well written, I didn’t enjoy reading it.
The book would have gotten 3 stars if it wasn’t for Kevin losing all my respect at the end. I didn’t dislike the book enough to stop reading it. In fact, I loved that Cedric had a mental illness that controlled his life. Watching him fight to overcome his OCD was touching. But both Cedric and Kevin struggled because of the OCD.
I read romance novels because I empathize with the characters. I love watching them grow and change, and I experience the highs and lows of their relationship along with them. Most romance books have a lot of happiness in them. Falling in love is a joyful thing. The few low points in a typical romance only serve to make the sweet moments even sweeter.
This book did have moments of happiness and joy, but they were vastly outweighed by the low points. Cedric and Kevin spent most of the book worried, nervous, upset, or confused. It suits the story, but it didn’t make for a fun read.
I am glad that Cedric was working hard to make himself better, and I always love when books portray therapy in a positive light. Cedric wasn’t ‘fixed’ by Kevin’s love, but wanting to have a lasting relationship with Kevin gave Cedric the motivation he needed to work to better himself. I honestly can’t fault the author for the way Cedric’s OCD was handled. There was no magic pill, and it was something both men had to navigate.
The fact that Kevin was so accommodating about Cedric’s OCD was both fantastic and a little too ‘knight in shining armor’. On the one hand, Kevin treated Cedric with respect and dignity. Which was great. But it felt like Kevin was treated like he was something extra special just for showing common decency. He was far from perfect, as evidence by the stunt he pulled near the end of the book.
Kevin ended up losing all my respect at the 85% mark. It didn’t matter that Cedric forgave him or that Kevin knew he was being shitty. As Cedric put it, “The man he was in love with had made a conscious decision that had the potential of setting Cedric back months in his treatment.” And then a few pages later, Kevin intentionally crossed Cedric’s boundaries again and made Cedric vomit. If I hadn’t been so close to the end of the book, I would have dropped it. As it was, Kevin’s actions lost the book a star.
Which is a shame, because this book does have its good points. Kevin and Cedric are both painfully human. Kevin’s first time was so incredibly self-centered, but there was believability in that. The same with Kevin’s coming out experience. Incredibly realistic, yet heartwarming to see the journey. The way Kevin’s kids reacted was fantastic, and was probably the best part of the story.
I definitely could have done without the underlying themes of machismo and misogyny. They were scattered through the book, so ingrained it wasn’t even questioned. The way Kevin put his wife up on a metaphorical pedestal and how Cedric refers to himself as “less than a man” several times because of his ED. There wasn’t even any talk of using toys, in big part because it’s not ‘manly’, and that was frustrating too.
Especially since sex is one of the main focuses of the book. Cedric and Kevin fall into insta-lust when they first meet. It leads to both of them constantly thinking about having sex, which was incredibly monotonous at the beginning. Even after they get together, sex is still the biggest driver of the story, aside from the OCD. Between the two, there isn’t much page space for anything else. Both Kevin and Cedric have a lot going on in their lives, but little of it is shown except for at the end.
Even if I hadn’t lost all respect for Kevin at the end of the book, I still would have been disappointed in this story. The OCD and sex completely swamped the story. The book is long and sometimes it felt like a slog to get through. The emotional complexity turned into a negative for me. I’m glad all the issues were handled so thoughtfully, but this book did not bring me joy.
Love is Love Reviews 